Faith in Action: 4 Strategies to Conquer Self-Sabotage
We say we want something and then make sure that it doesn’t happen. I know, it sounds crazy, but that is what many of us do. This is self-sabotage….
Read on for the 4 strategies to conquer self-sabotage by putting your faith into action.
First, let’s tackle the why. Why do we want something and then do everything we can to make sure we don’t get it?
How might this show up?
Have you ever found yourself waiting for the perfect time? The perfect time to start that diet, start going to the gym, start a side business, write the book.
Or have you found yourself getting off track as soon as you see progress?
You have a great idea, you set your goal, you’re filled with excitement! You can see it – you can smell it – you can taste it! The awesome experience of a visioning exercise! Then in a few days or a few weeks in and you are overwhelmed with all kinds of excuses.
No judgment – has this shown up in your life?
Self-sabotage is nothing new! Paul in his letter to the Romans said:
“I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” - Romans 7:15 NIV
If you resonate with getting sucked into self-sabotage, you are not alone AND there is a way out!
Prayer –
LORD, I am willing to let go of insecurity and the root of fear that has kept me bound in mediocrity. You have called me to so much more.
Why do we self-sabotage?
Fear of failure
Fear of success
Something Else Always Seems More Important
Desiring Acceptance
“I’ve been good; I deserve a little extra.”
Fear of not being loved
Fear of failure
It’s natural to affirm our fears with bad experiences from our past. A bad relationship makes it hard to trust again. A failed business makes it hard to try another business venture. A failed diet (or many diets) or a failed workout routine (or many workout routines) makes it harder to try again.
Our brain, or our ego’s, duty and sole responsibility is to keep us safe. When an idea comes to mind, it will search our memory banks for past experiences. If those memories are of failed attempts to stick with a diet, or a healthy plan, your brain will tell you in no uncertain terms “Don’t do that again! You know what happened last time. You told everyone that you were going on this amazing health journey, and it was going to be fabulous and then you didn’t stick with it. You had friends and family ask you about it and you had to tell them you didn’t follow through. Oh no! We’re not doing that again!”
Have you heard that in the whisperings, or in the screaming, in your innermost thoughts?
Your brain is doing its job to keep you safe, but it is not helpful right now.
Fear of success
This doesn’t even seem like it should be a thing, does it? It’s actually more prevalent than you might think!
You are doing great at your new health plan and releasing weight and feeling great. You and your friend decided to do the plan together – you both thought it would be great to share success stories and accountability. Only thing is now you are doing great but your friend has not had any success and has even put on a couple pounds. Now what do you do?
How about your last relationship? You have been looking for “Mr Right” and the guy you have been dating sure seems to fit the bill. You think “It’s too good to be true. There must be something wrong with him.” You don’t want to get hurt again, or blindsided like you did in the past. So you start looking for those “wrong” things. Instead of focusing on the positive, you have focused on the negative – he feels that and figures something is just not right with the relationship and backs off. It’s kind of like a self-fulfilling prophecy that he wasn’t “Mr Right”.
How about growing a successful business? This is one that feels really sneaky! You want a successful business with lots of customers or clients, but in the back of your mind that kind of success sounds like you’d have to work really hard. If you had to work really hard, you wouldn’t have as much free time to yourself as you have now – opening the door to self-sabotage!
Other things that might come up for you…
Something Else Always Seems More Important
Desiring Acceptance
“I’ve been good; I deserve a little extra.”
Or
Fear of not being loved
Sabotage can come from two directions: the behavior of friends, co-workers, colleagues, and family, or our own inner rebellion. Others watching us venture into this healthier lifestyle may make comments, or they may rebel against us. You may notice that some people close to you feel threatened when you embark on this kind of journey and they will tempt you with food and activities you’re trying to move away from.
Sometimes we feel guilty that they feel threatened (it’s NOT your fault that they feel bad) and we sabotage ourselves to be accepted.
These reactions boil down to fear.
Fear of not being loved.
Others, without the courage to take such a bold step may unconsciously hope we fail. Our success would be uncomfortably challenging. When we take a step toward valuing ourselves more, our relationships are forced to shift. Our own rebellion is often based on our own fear of change, of taking responsibility for our lives.
What if we no longer could hide behind excuses for not becoming anything we want? For not allowing ourselves to really be who we truly are?
These reasons of why we self-sabotage are not to make you feel bad about yourself or to create any kind of shame. It’s all about awareness. When you have awareness of what’s going on, you have power! You have the power of choice!
Self-sabotage is like a seed – we can choose to reject it or water it. If we water it, we are actually doing the enemy’s dirty work! Don’t give the enemy too much credit. In the story of Job we are reminded that satan is limited. But his trick is self-sabotage! It starts in the mind and causes us to doubt, and it causes us to create obstacles where there are none.
Put your faith into action!
Here are 4 ways to conquer self-sabotage.
Renew your mind – purposefully stay focused on who GOD is, and who we are as His children.
Exodus tell us that GOD himself said who He is:
“The Lord, the Lord, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin.” - Exodus 34:6-7 NIV
And who are we in Christ?
Ephesians 2:10 tells us:
“I am God's workmanship, created in Christ to do good works that He has prepared for me to do.” 2 Corinthians 5:17 “I am a new creation in Christ.“
We are a new creation – our past does not define us.
And again,
“Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.” - 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 NIV
We are GOD’s workmanship, we are new creations, we are temples of the Holy Spirit.
GOD is gracious, compassionate, the creator of the ends of the earth, an everlasting GOD – and He loves you.
Renew your mind with those thoughts.
“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” - Philippians 4:8 NIV
Stay With It
Decide that even if a situation does not come to your desired end, in your time, you will not continue the pattern of giving up.
“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” - Galatians 6:9 NIV
“Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.” - James 1:12 NIV
It doesn’t say it will be easy, but staying with it, hanging in there even when it feels hard, will end the cycle of self-sabotage.
Leave some room for the unexpected
Rarely will life go as we expect, as we have prayed for, as we have planned. If you leave room for the unexpected, you leave room for GOD to bless you beyond anything you could have imagined.
Think about the story of Joseph – in Genesis 37 –
Joseph was sold into slavery by his brothers. Up until the time he was 17 his life was pretty normal and I’m sure Joseph thought his life would be much like others in his culture. Well, life turned out very different for Joseph! As Joseph left room in his life for the unexpected, GOD not only blessed his socks off, but provided for his entire family when the famine hit!
“From his abundance we have all received one gracious blessing after another.” - John 1:16 NLT
Celebrate how far you’ve come!
Every day say, “Thank You Jesus for reminding me of small victories!”
There is no victory too big or too small to celebrate. Celebration releases stress, provides motivation, recognizes excellence, shows appreciation and acceptance, builds energy, provides a time of reflection, and is a moment in time to be remembered.
“Be cheerful with joyous celebration in every season of life. Let your joy overflow! And let gentleness be seen in every relationship, for our Lord is ever near. Don’t be pulled in different directions or worried about a thing. Be saturated in prayer throughout each day, offering your faith-filled requests before God with overflowing gratitude. Tell him every detail of your life, then God’s wonderful peace that transcends human understanding, will guard your heart and mind through Jesus Christ.” - Philippians 4:4-7 TPT
Let’s walk boldly toward the destiny GOD has for us!
Want to know about Intuitive Eating?
Read the free eBook “3 Keys to Intuitive Eating”. Rooted in the principles of Intuitive Eating, this easy-to-read eBook offers practical keys to nurturing your physical and spiritual well-being through the lens of the Christian faith.
You’ll be able to implement the three transformative keys to Intuitive Eating, by listening to your body’s signals and embrace foods that nourish both your physical health and your spiritual growth. You’ll be able to align your eating habits with the principles of God’s design, so you’ll find balance and fulfillment in your relationship with food.
You will discover a sense of calmness and freedom around food as you release the chains of rigid restrictions and dieting. Through the wisdom of Intuitive Eating and the guiding principles of your Christian beliefs, you’ll learn to honor your body as a temple of the Holy Spirit, treating it with love and respect.
Dear readers and wellness enthusiasts, thank you for joining me on this journey toward a healthier and more faith-integrated life.
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